Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
An Application for Dating My Daughter - lol!
Got this from blog I like to read by Thabiti Anyabwile at Pure Church - too funny
An Application for Dating My Daughter
1. Name_________________________ Date of Birth____________
2. Height _________ Weight________ IQ________ GPA________
3. Social Security # ______________ Driver’s licence #__________
4. Boy Scout Rank_____________________________________
5. Home Address_____________ City/State ____________ Zip____
6. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____________
If no, explain answer _________________________________
7. Number of years parents married ________________________
8. Do you own a van? _______ A truck with oversized tires?______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? _______ Do you have a tattoo?_________ (if yes to any of #8, discontinue application and leave the premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? ____________ ____________________________________________________.
10. In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!” mean to you? __________________________________________________________.
11. Church you attend _______________ How often do you attend? ______________________
12. When is the best time to interview you father, mother, and bishop? Father ____________ Mother___________ Bishop__________
13. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer all questions freely, all answers are confidential (that means I won’t tell anyone ever — promise)
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be wounded is in the __________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ____________
C. A woman’s place is in the _________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application doesn’t ask is________________________________________
E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is ______________
14. What do you want to be “if” you grow up? ________________
15. Are you willing to wear an electronic tracking device? _______
I swear all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, crucifixion, electrocution, Chinese water torture, and red hot pokers.
Signature ________________________
Thank-you for you interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
An Application for Dating My Daughter
1. Name_________________________ Date of Birth____________
2. Height _________ Weight________ IQ________ GPA________
3. Social Security # ______________ Driver’s licence #__________
4. Boy Scout Rank_____________________________________
5. Home Address_____________ City/State ____________ Zip____
6. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____________
If no, explain answer _________________________________
7. Number of years parents married ________________________
8. Do you own a van? _______ A truck with oversized tires?______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? _______ Do you have a tattoo?_________ (if yes to any of #8, discontinue application and leave the premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? ____________ ____________________________________________________.
10. In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!” mean to you? __________________________________________________________.
11. Church you attend _______________ How often do you attend? ______________________
12. When is the best time to interview you father, mother, and bishop? Father ____________ Mother___________ Bishop__________
13. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer all questions freely, all answers are confidential (that means I won’t tell anyone ever — promise)
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be wounded is in the __________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ____________
C. A woman’s place is in the _________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application doesn’t ask is________________________________________
E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is ______________
14. What do you want to be “if” you grow up? ________________
15. Are you willing to wear an electronic tracking device? _______
I swear all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, crucifixion, electrocution, Chinese water torture, and red hot pokers.
Signature ________________________
Thank-you for you interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
What a Difference Just One Day Can Make...!
Oh what a difference just a day makes! The Word of Christ declares in Romans 10:9, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God has raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”
Dr. Seamands tells of a Muslim who became a Christian in Africa. Some of his friends asked him, “Why have you become a Christian?” He answered, “Well, it’s like this. Suppose you were going down the road & suddenly the road forked in 2 directions, and you didn’t know which way to go, and there at the fork in the road were two men, one dead, and one alive – which one would you ask which way to go?
But now Christ is Risen!
Dr. Seamands tells of a Muslim who became a Christian in Africa. Some of his friends asked him, “Why have you become a Christian?” He answered, “Well, it’s like this. Suppose you were going down the road & suddenly the road forked in 2 directions, and you didn’t know which way to go, and there at the fork in the road were two men, one dead, and one alive – which one would you ask which way to go?
But now Christ is Risen!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Back To School Bash 2010...!
Now that school's back in session...let's get the school year started out right with one final summer night of fun. Join us Wednesday, September 8, 2010 at James and Tina Berry's house for a Back To School fellowship...and fun. Bring a Bible, towel, and swim suit and come join us for food, fellowship, worship, and swimming in their pool. We sure are thankful for their hospitality. Come hungry....food WILL BE provide (and it's free!). You can't beat that....
For those of you who are new...we are moving our normal 10:31 service of student worship to their home that night. Please call the youth office for directions or contact information. The Berry's are located within 10 minutes of the church. All the action starts at 6:30 pm and ends at 8:30 pm.
For those of you who are new...we are moving our normal 10:31 service of student worship to their home that night. Please call the youth office for directions or contact information. The Berry's are located within 10 minutes of the church. All the action starts at 6:30 pm and ends at 8:30 pm.
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